Here are some pictures of me from vacation.
Here I am trying to catch a big one
No luck
The siblings: Me, Andrea, Jacki, and Jay
So here is where the story begins…
So, I visited my family this summer. My parents and siblings live in Indiana, but we are all originally from Ohio which is where my extended family lives and where this story takes place.
Have you ever seen the animated movie Over the Hedge? It’s a cute little movie about these woodland creatures that wake up from their winter hibernation to find themselves surrounded by suburbs. They have to try to forage food for the next winter. There’s a turtle, some possums, a squirrel, hedgehogs, a raccoon, and, finally, a skunk voiced by Wanda Sykes. She has the coolest voice. The skunk in the movie was very cute and quite sassy. This is my frame of reference here as we head into the events of August 2nd.
My grandparents have an in ground pool (see Exhibit A below). I hadn’t swum in it for over 10 years, so I was excited to jump right in. However, as I approached the pool this Saturday morning, I see some of my relatives staring past the diving board in a corner of the pool deck. I asked everyone what was going on. They said there was a skunk in the pool area. I looked, and sure enough, there was a little skunk traveling along the back fence of the pool. Hey, I thought, it looks just like that little skunk in Over the Hedge. Cool. Just then, though, someone pointed out that is was walking quite slow and a little weird. Everyone began to speculate that there was something not quite right about the skunk. Was it sick? Was it rabid? Either way, as it began to make its way toward us, we all proceeded to run into the house. I burst through the door, and proclaimed, “There’s a skunk in the pool!” Everyone who had been inside ran to the window to try to catch a glimpse. Then, one of my uncles decided he might be able to spray it with the hose to get it to leave. My aunt proclaimed that he had better be careful; she didn’t have any tomato juice. (For those who don’t know, tomato juice is one way to get the skunk smell out should you ever get sprayed—imagine a tomato juice bath…lovely).
Here’s where it gets interesting. First, let me explain that had this been my other grandfather who is a hunter and had his guns on display ever since I can remember, I might not have been surprised. However, this grandfather was a hometown doctor for over 50 years, likes to golf and wears clothes from IZOD. Anyway, my grandpa comes out of his room with a shotgun (see Exhibit B below). That’s right. A 12-gauge shotgun. According to one of my aunts, the last time that particular shotgun was seen was when my grandpa had brought it out to scare one of her boyfriends. That has been many, many years ago. Also, understand this; I am not a gun person. I hate guns. I try to keep my distance from any sort of firearm. I begin to panic a bit. “Do we really need to shoot anything?” I stammer. Then, I notice the shotgun ammo (Exhibit C) sitting on my grandma’s vanity. Ten minutes later, I hear a loud POP, and I know the cute little skunk has been “put out of its misery”. Poor Wanda. I guess it was my cousin who actually did the mercy killing. I felt a little better, as he hunts and is member of the National Guard. But, still.
Disclaimer: My cousin (not the one who shot the skunk) wanted me to make a disclaimer that all people from Ohio are not gun-toting skunk killers. He’s right. Those are just the special few.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
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